The cHai diaries

I'm planning a food/travel/tourism blog 'the chai diaries'
Yours truly and his roomie are to pukka chai afficionados but we can at most cover a few, I'm gonna need posts by you all too..do mail them to me..
let the chai tales begin!!

zinda hi to ho..

Agar raahon pe chale to raahgir ho,
girke raah ko chooma h to zinda ho tum..
Dhalte sooraj ne rula diya to shaayar hi sahi..
Paraye dard mein aankh bhar aayi to zinda ho tum..
Kal ka dekha sapna yaad na aaye to kaali neend hi sahi..
Maksad ban sab bhulwa de to zinda ho tum..
Himmat dikhayi to bahadur hi sahi,
kisi kam-zor ki himmat bane to zinda ho tum..
Jeete ho hone k liye to aakhir zinda ho,
kisi k ho liye to jee liye tum

"So jaa beta.. nahi toh..."

netaji(giving an impromptu(unprepared) speech)भाइयो और (उनकी) प्यारी प्यारी bahano!!
भारत का राष्ट्रीय जंतु बाघ (No it is not lalu prasad,silly)
ab endangered hi नहीं.. मिनोरिटी में आ गए है!!


hamare party ki "meeting"(हाय!क्या party thi yaar!!)
mein hum बुद्धि-जीवियों ने इस विषय पर मनन kiya
(जब तक हमारा peg लग रहा था)
की  देश में अब केवल 41,900 बाघ बचे है..
(some smart ass interrupts)
"But sir according to the official census only 1411 tigers are left"
netaji:"कौन बोला?? light maar!!
1411 तो जंगल वाले बचे है..
मै तो हमारी पार्टी के शेरो को भी गिन रहा था"
(huge applause from party ke chamcha log)
*
one reporter(aiming to test the neta's g.k)
"sirji, agar tiger extinct ho gaye to kya asar padega??
netaji:"अच्हा किया आपने जो हमसे ही पूछा..
वो क्या है...tigur eej bery impotent
(laughter)
netaji:आप लोग हस रहे हो? मै सच कह रहा हूँ!
(तब ही नेताजी का phone bajta hai..)
netaji:*whispers*"high command ka fone hai"
 "hello sirji pranaam..ha ji,
ok sir, haa mai samajh raha hu..
rukiye likhta hu..
boliye...ka.cho.ri aur?
acha baby ko rasmalai?
theek hai sir ji..."
(looks to the audience sheepishly)
"...हा तो हम कहा थे??
tiger log jo hai....(long pause)
हमारे बच्चो को बिगड़ने से रोकते है...
reporter:sir hum jungle wale ki baat kar raha tha,
aapki party walo ki nahi,jo valentine se leke labour day par patrol karte hai...
नेताजी:"तो हम भी उन्ही की बात कर रहे थे..
बच्चा जब नहीं सोता  तो माँ कहती है
"beta so jaa, nahi to "tiger" aa jaaega!!"
अब आप सज्जन ही बताओ?
tiger rahe nahi...
अगर बच्चा बात नहीं मानेगा तो बिगड़ेगा ही..
another smart ass:"to kisi aur ke naam se dara denge..."
netaji: ऐसे-कैसे किसी और के नाम से डरा देंगे?
यही हमारी संस्कृति है... हमारी अम्मा भी हमें ऐसा ही डराती थी....
(trails off)hamaar to langot hi gila hui jaawe thi..*sniff*
sorry village की याद आ गयी...
नहीं!! हम ऐसा नहीं होने देंगे!! हमारी पार्टी बाघों कको बचा के ही रहेगी!!
smart ass no.3: but kaise??
netaji: party commitee  bithaenge....
campaign चलाएंगे (इस बहाने t.v par aa jaaunga..)
aur ha!! आरक्षण दिलाएंगे!!
party workers: हाँ हाँ आरक्षण दिलाएंगे!!


नेताजी:हम कल ही जंगल में धरना लगायेंगे!
गंपू! जा tent aur sound wale ko bol la!
aur ha catering wale ko bhi...
(whispers) orchestra ko mat bhoolna...

"Hello,testing.check,1,2,3......"

when my friends cried "stampede!!",i obviously thought they were crying wolf,but now...
i lie stamped,trampled,among a pile of other victims,
and i warn you,Beware!!
all you messagers,their out to get you!!
who,you ask??
A swarm of fast-breeding messages,out to trounce you with their triviality!not just once,but a cuzzillion times!!(to ya mathematicians,that stands equal to 10^3 billion :b)

Behold my dukh bhari kahani!
"It all began the day I changed my cellphone connection,the first message i recieved was-

'hey brutus...happy B'day,dude....though belated"-Bella
pleased I was,unaware of the torture i'd face recieving the same b'day greetin 5 times!!but there was more...

"kahan par hai be??!! saala kamre ki chaabi leke bhag gaya!"-Ayush (a good 7 times)
(p.s i even recieved the same message 2 days after leaving kota!),

"hey combo!when ya comin yaar? miss ya dude"-Gul (thrice,even after i met the sender!),

"ab kya batau,bhai?? haal mast bhi hai,kharaab bhi,tu nai samjhega tu engineer nahi hai"-Anna
(so many times i decided to become one just to get her point!)

And the most painful and adamant was
"Hyyyiiiiiiii!! :)"-Shanku
(fourth day running)

So now I issue guidelines a to how to save your souls from being sucked into black holes,
1.forward all good jokes to me,your phone shall attain salvation
2.call MJ
and say "bas sir aiwai hi yaad aa gayi thi aapki" when he's in class
3.leave your mundane lives behind for half an hour daily and watch "India TV"!

blood brothers

Two brothers,two identities,
Twice the dreams,twice the ambition
Ambition? One's was dead,while the other manic
Both wanted one thing,gold
One wanted nothing less than a mine
The other content with a mouthful
For this both dug deep
A mine deep into the earth by one
The other dug and dusted the ruins within himself
Both engrossed themselves deeply for their treasure
When they were close to reward,
It set in,shunning all love and sharing
Greed,a brother forgotten,they dug
Alas!the mine collapsed,
Burying a gem among the gold,
The other perished too
He had success,the treasure found
But there he stood in an abyss he dug himself
Crying for a brother he had (deliberately) forgotten so long
He had the treasure he seeked but it could not get him out
Now he lies in that very abyss,and sings
Songs the world marvels at
but does not know the origin of which
Songs for his treasure,
which now were his brothers memories
His gold now lies next to him ,rotting
Now the only gold among these brothers
was an artery joining them